I Need This

I got my paper back today, not the one that I wrote but my midterm. I was surprised I actually got a good grade. I don't know what it was, I don't like to think that I’m a good writer because I’m not, but it felt good opening up my blue book and seeing my grade. This class is the closest education that I have to law school and it just gives me hope. I just can’t help to think that I might stand a chance.

Well to recap on the whole weekend, it was great. I had a date on Saturday. Actually it wasn’t really a date it was just dinner at my favorite restaurant. I haven’t been out in a while so I had to enjoy it. I had my wine with steak it was good, went to the beach after, the same California beach that I’ve grown to love, surprisingly we didn’t get kicked out. We walked and talked, it was good. Kind of felt disappointed at the end because I had wasted a good night with someone that I can’t see myself with.

As of what I was feeling about my date, well to say the least I really don’t see me dating her, but like I’ve said before sometimes I just do it to see how far I can go. It may seem cruel since someone is bound to get hurt but I believe that there has to be a balance to everything. Anyhow I’m just going to play it by ear like a past time nothing spectacular, until I meet “her” again and when I do I will be ready. Alright I better stop rambling about nonsense I better get to class…Until next time.

Close But No Cigar

I’ve been up for 17 hours now, and I’m tired. Going to bed as soon as I write. My interview went great I thought, the woman that was interviewing me went to the same University that I’m going right now, so I thought everything was going to be great.

First mistake, I didn’t bring a copy of my resume. I’ve done many interviews and every single one of them had my resume in front of them. I always think of bringing it but this time I thought that I wouldn’t need it. Well too bad.

Everything else was great she loved my answers, she was impressed to hear how much I knew about the type of law firm that was and the type of law that the firm did. I did research I was actually expecting this so surprise there.

Finally, I think my availability was the sole thing that denied me of the position as I told her that I was going to graduate in June. Perhaps I still have a chance; she said that the second interview will be with one of the lawyers there so I guess I’m hoping for a call.

Besides these two flaws I think I did great on the interview, nonetheless I have had a lot of success at interviews but I don’t get as many calls as I think I should. Maybe I’m doing something wrong. Well I guess I’ll see how everything goes.

TOO TIREd NEED sleep….ZzzzZZ

No Class

Class was canceled today which I think it isn't fair since I feel like I'm being robbed from my education. Now if my next class cancels then I'll be happy.

I’ve a job interview tomorrow for a legal assistant position which I’m kind of having second thoughts since I think there has been a mistake. On my resume I put on there that I didn’t expect to graduate until this June and the position requires of me to work full time so I don’t know. I’m tempted to calling them as asking if there has been a mistake. I think I’m just going to go to see what happens. I hope I get it since it's by my parents house and it is also next to the law school that I want to go to. If I get this job everything should fall in place.

We got an extension for our senior project yesterday which it is a relieve since my group didn’t think that we can finish in time. I’ve been meeting a lot of people lately that are also trying to go to law school I think it’s great since I listen to all of them as I get bits and pieces of information from each and everyone of them. I haven’t ordered my forms yet from the LASC since I still have some time but I will order them soon.

My job is going ok but its beginning to feel repetitive, to say the truth it doesn’t feel like I’m using my brain anymore, I just read the directions and do was it says on the reports and that’s it. I don’t think I need a degree to do what I’m doing; nonetheless I’ll stick with it since it is good experience.

I’ve been super busy lately which it’s a good think because it keeps my mind focused and distractions to a minimum. Now I look forward to weekends since it’s the only time when I can sleep in. I better get going I still have a class at 10:30, I also have a lab to work on since I’m going to be gone most of the day tomorrow I better get to it since it is due tomorrow. Ok, time to jet.

Just Push

“Never have I been tested so much for faith in myself and other people. Never have I been so disappointed by people I thought were comrades”

I read this phrase in one of the blogs that I read, and that is exactly how I feel sometimes. This whole college thing has been the hardest thing that I’ve done. It has been hard because the time that it takes to accomplish it seems forever. I can’t help but to think like this when I’m sitting studying late at night, or when I come home late from a study session. I come home and I see nobody, not a missed call on my cell phone, not an e-mail from anyone, nothing. I have close friend but when but when it comes to coming home to get away from all the books and exams then I realize that there is nothing else. It’s just me, then I ask my self the question that I don’t think I could ever get the answer to, is all this worth it? Is it worth me finishing my B.S and then going to school for three more years worth the effort and time just to solely satisfy myself. I have to believe that I can do it, I have to keep the faith in myself so I can’t finish. It is easy to say what I should do but when it comes down to it, it is very hard to keep all hope. I don’t know what keeps me going I just keep going like I have a purpose. I really don’t know why or how I keep going.

My parents don’t call me, I know I should call them but sometimes I get so overwhelmed that I need to hear those comforting voices or phrases that tell me keep it up you are almost there, don’t get discourage. I believe that this is what has made me hard; this is what makes me think that it isn’t ok to show any emotions. This is what has taught me to suck it up and just push until I can’t push no more, to push until something gives like my body or mind. This is all I know.

I use to run a lot before, and my favorite thing to do was to sprint up big hills, I would run so fast and hard up those hill that when I was almost to the top my body would just get enrage and I went faster and faster. When I stopped running my chest would hurt so much that I would feel my heart pound my inter cavity. What I thought back then has not changed now, I just keep pushing. This is all I know.

V-day Post

Ah nothing like valentines day to remind me that I'm single and remind me more of the ones that got away. I had valentines last year but I messed that one up, which I think it was fine since I really wasn't happy with her. I really didn't see it going anywhere. So I had to get rid of her.

The tables were turned right after that when I met my doom; yes I call her my doom because who would have known that she could actually tame me. I remember our first date, we went for coffee, and the most interesting thing was that she brought a book on the first date. I didn’t understand why she would do that. I found it quite intriguing since intelligence is a total attraction. So the night progress she had warm apple cider while I had coffee. We talked and talked, at this point my guard was up and my mind was going 100 miles a second.

We talk and talk, we laughed. I told some old war stories I was confident, we talked about our careers, about were we were going at this point in my life I wasn’t sure about law school. Everything was fine we sat there until the coffee shop closed and they kicked us out. But of course I know better, I can’t let her go to bed yet it’s still early. I invited her for a drink she agreed and we were off, I drove to one of the pubs down town it was nice and casual. Everything was fine we talked and had some drinks.

Night progress, soon it was over, I drop her off at her car at the coffee shop. At this point kissing her didn’t even cross my mind. I know better to take it smooth and casual. It was great.

A week after that we went on a second date, we went for pizza. Casual as always, I was a little nervous since she looked so radiant that night. She was wearing a regular spaghetti strap shirt, nice and simple. Her skin was rosy light brown the same tone all over, now my urges kicked it, I think this is why I was nervous. I been out with hot women before but it wasn’t her looks that had me, I think it was just her simplicity. The night went on the date was fine, we talked same as the first one, I was getting antsy. We had a good time, I wanted to go for the kiss but the situation wasn’t right, I couldn’t just force it so I didn’t.

As I drove away I was angry at myself but happy since I knew I had made an impact on her. I specifically made a mental note; I will kiss her next time that I promise.

My birthday was coming up so of course I took the advantage of that day to see if I could see her. I took a while to convince her to agree since she specifically said that it’s my birthday and I should spend it with my family. I replied by saying no way, I see my family a lot and I plan to see them this weekend.

She had no choice but to agree, I took her to the very place were my friends and I usually go to after coming back from surfing. Nice casual bar at the beach shore, what a perfect spot to spend my birthday.

The day came, we had fun. I wore a classy suit with a dark blue shirt with a sports coat nothing out of the ordinary. I met her at the coffee place again since she wasn’t comfortable with me seeing where she lived; I made nothing of it since all I cared for was that she was with me. She looked gorgeous as ever, as we sat there we order drinks and we kept talking she drank as much as I did, we had about five drinks each. Now when a girl drinks as much as I do when I go out, that means something.

We had dinner and we were off, we walked on the beach for a while. I offered her my jacket. Now of course what a better place to kiss her then the California beach shore. I then thought, I think she expects me to kiss her since It seems that I planned it all, so I didn’t. I held her hand and we just walked and talked. Beach patrol soon came to let us know that the beach was close, so we left soon after.

I drove her straight to her car, and that was it. The doors were locked and she wasn’t stepping out of my car before my lips touched hers. As she kept talking all I was thinking was the feeling of me finally kissing her. I slightly leaned over and just said, you talk too much, as my left hand gently held her right cheek I leaned over and I finally took the chance. It was great, I don't consider myself a great kisser but it’s practically simple. I’m pretty confident about my kissing since I’ve been told that I’m a great one but I don't let it go to my head. Lean slightly don’t hesitate but don’t over do it, gently press your lips on her as you caress her cheek with the other hand. Don’t get to excited and just enjoy the moment.

To my advantage the night didn’t end like that, just to summarize everything, it was the best birthday I ever had. Good times.

First Time For Everything

Went to class yesterday to take my midterm, I had woken up at 5:15am so I can do so reading to prepare for it. I couldn’t see, my eyes were still dilated from the eye drops. I e-mailed the instructor at around 6. I didn’t think he was going to read until after the midterm, I got my blue book and I was ready to do god knows what. I didn’t know what I was going to do; I was just going to try my best to write. As I got there the instructor pull me to the side and said this isn’t important, he said go take care of your eyes.

I was surprised; I’ve never skipped a midterm in my whole entire life. I was lost in words, I told the instructor that I can try and see. He asked me if I was sure, I then thought, hmmm I am really not prepare for this since my eyes haven’t been 100% so I told him well the thing is that I can’t read text, I can’t read my writing. He basically excused me from the midterm. I thought that was pretty cool of the instructor since I’ve never asked for pity or compassion. Felt weird after that walking out of the class, I just thought that I should have received whatever I get disregarding my eyes.

I went straight to the eye doctor and told him what was wrong. He just said that it was a side effect of the eye drops and I should get better soon. Well its already Tuesday and my eyes are the still the same…

Don't Panic

My prescription was finally in at the pharmacy today for my eyes. My eyes were feeling a lot better despite that I still put the eye drops in my eyes. Along with the others that were given to me initially when I visited the eye doctor. I don’t know if I was suppose to mix the eye drops with the others but I did.

In results of this my vision has been clearly affected, I can barely see, everything looks blurry. I have to study for this midterm tomorrow but I can’t read the text since my near vision is like this. The only way I’m writing on this right now it’s because I have the zoom at 150%. Damn me, if it isn’t one thing it’s another. I don’t know what to do,

I just hope it goes away within the next hour or so, if not I’ll be in trouble tomorrow since I won’t know the material. Maybe I can borrow a magnifying glass from someone so I can read, or I can ask someone to read out loud for me and someone else to write notes…no that wouldn’t work I don’t know anyone in there right mind that would do that for me. I’ll suck it up and try to read. Damn these eyes!!!

Study Study Study

ah went to study today at the library at around 3, stayed there until closing time. Came home to rest for about two hours (actually to play a video game) left to the book store at eight and left there 15 minutes before closing time. @11:45

I can never study at home, I believe that my home should be a place to relax and rest. Not a place to overwhelm me with stress and the different tasks that must be done, so of course I leave. Even if I did want to study at home I don’t think I could since I have a TV with cable, the temptation of turning it on always lingers in my brain.

I have a midterm in jurisprudence on Monday at 8am I want to do well, the professor gave us the questions already which he will pick two from the five that were given. I’m going to have to write an essay about two questions.

One of the questions asks about the problems in common law in regards to stare decisis, another asks about the problems in dealing with statutory laws, another deals with constitutional interpretation. Yeah this isn’t easy since it is all new to me, however I will try my best, I just hope I get a good grade.

oh update on the bike: Well my brother got it today to my surprise when I called him to asked him about it he was very appreciative towards me since I did the co-signing. I guess I’m glad since that is a sign that he appreciates it. He asked me when I was going to go over the house so I can ride it, I said that I’m kind of busy so I won’t be going home any time soon. I actually wanted to tell him to be careful but I didn’t feel like lecturing him, I’m sure he knows.

I actually called him to find out how he did on his track meet, well he got first place on his event, I was glad to hear that since he is trying to transfer out of his community college to a university with a track scholarship. This is his second year running, I remember last year he had an invitational meet to go to, invitational track meets are good since they are all full of scouts and universities looking for talent. Apparently he overslept and didn’t go to it.

Unfortunately I called him too late for him to make it, so of course he heard it from me. I specifically told him that oversleeping isn’t an excuse especially if he was trying to get a track scholarship. He didn’t hear the end of it until I knew that it was imbedded in his brain. I didn’t understand who in their right mind would just oversleep on important stuff like this.

Nonetheless he is doing better this year, last I checked he was trying to shave two seconds of his time to get a full ride to Fresno State. I’m sure he’ll run those times; the most important thing that I’ve told him I think is that you have to give a big effort to achieve the goals that you are trying to attain. I told him that you can do whatever you like, for some reason the boys in our family were gifted, we are good at sports. In high school I played basketball, tried-out for baseball team, I was too thin for football but I was fast. I think if I would have stuck with any of those sports I could have been an athlete, my brother being the youngest has a better chance at it since he still lives at home. Nothing better then free food and rent…. WOW look at the time, I better go to bed. I need keep at it if I were to stand a chance at getting a decent…sleep time.

Busy Bee

I been so busy lately I barely have time to relax. I have a midterm tomorrow it’s for one of my general ed. classes therefore it should be easy. 50 questions half of them multiple choice the other half true or false. Damn never had it so easy, I should have been a Liberal Studies major.

I been trying to understand a concept that I think my professor failed to explain in simple terms I’ll try to write it down to see if I can interpret in my own words.

A case was presented; the case was about a doctor that injected heroin to the patient to reduce pain. The doctor was taken to court by the state, the dilemma is the doctor is clearly in violation of the law since he injected the patient with an illegal substance. It was proven that the substance did reduce pain, now what is the judge suppose to do??? Does he sentence him to jail to set a precedence? or does he let him go free if so other doctors would see this and see that it is ok to take matter into own hand and do anything for the sake of helping out the patient.

This is how I interpreted it, the judge can make an exception but only if certain circumstances like this one can be proven, after the judge see that there are too many cases brought of in regards this same scenario he/she can take it up to the legislature so then the legislature can change the law and add the different amendments… I don’t know.

The professor is great at bringing up the difficult questions that need to be answer in order to understand legal reasoning but I think he falls short to give us a good explanation of the answer, perhaps these questions are made evident so one can try to find a logical explanation using the legal reasoning. The more I get into this the more questions are created.

I better take a nap before my class tonight, staying up late since I need to study for the midterm. But before any of this homemade pasta, hmm.

YEah I Remember

LA Times did a story on my brother and his friends last week, I was surprised to see their pictures on the paper last Friday. I then recall him telling me that LA Times followed them for 8 months. I've been trying to analyze the whole point of the story and I’ve tried to get to the bottom of it all since it is where I come from, heck that could have been my brother not graduating, perhaps I had something to do with it who knows, I'm just glad that he is in the right path. LA Times made them all look like thugs, and losers that have no goals or prospective. (I know they need the readers)

Well the story is about the drop out rate from my old high school, and how the school failed the students, my brother graduate a year before these guys so the story doesn't apply to him but he did come out in the paper and the video. I really don’t think that the schools had anything to do with these kids failing since it has a lot more to do with the values and the pressure of the parents. ok maybe the school gave up on them too easy, who knows...

My mom pressure me to do well in high school that along with my natural sense of questioning authority I believe is what motivated me to graduate. I look back at high school and I don’t think it was such a big deal now, but to these kids they don’t know any better. This is the first prospective that they will accomplish. These kids are young and maybe they have no brothers or parents to pressure them. I still think that the group that they formed had a lot to do with their failure; it’s hard to write it all down since it is a complicated hypothesis.

I still think there is hope for these kids, I’ve taken this story and seen it through all the angles since I personally know some of these kids. What I’ve learned is that these kids made a very strong bond with each other and I can vouch that they have held their end of the bargain since the comradeship that they have formed is the strongest I’ve ever encounter.

One of the kids’ brothers started up a loan company, and he gave jobs to most of these kids. My brother doesn’t work there since he is always in school and has other jobs but if he needed a job, he can count on any of these guys to help out. That along with other private businesses that they are all trying to put together, I can see the potential. As their name grows they never forget one another, they’ve even made a rap CD. My brother keeps me up to date on it; they come to him for consulting since he is the one studying business.

This is what is missing in my time here, I’ve met a lot of people in my college years but to say the least there is only a couple of people that I can really call true friends. I had thought before that I’ve made true friends since I’ve helped a lot of classmates pass classes and study for midterms/finals I thought that after doing this for them that we had become friends. I was wrong, the very next quarter I would walk right by them I would greet them like any other guy would, I would node my head and say how is it going. Most of them would not even acknowledge me, they would pass right by like if I wasn’t there. To me I could care less I have enough good friends, but it was just all weird to me, to this day I don’t understand why they would act like this.

To me if someone were to help me study or help me with passing a class, I would be in debt to them for life. I wouldn’t forget it, I would try to do anything I can to help them out, this is how I was raised, this is how tight my true friends and I are, but these people I've helped out, they don’t see it that way. I don’t understand!!!!

Nevertheless for being loyal and being there for my brother, as my brother has been there for them, I am in debt to these guys. They’ve looked out for each other especially my brother in my absence. I can sleep well at night when I know that in my absence my brother has other people to count on. For this, I will do whatever I can to help these guys.

Back Home Now

My blog has been acting up I don't know what’s wrong with it since I don't recall me messing with the code. Went to my parent’s house this weekend to take care of some stuff nothing out of the ordinary, hanged out with my brother and his friends that’s about it...

Went to the LA library on Saturday to study for a midterm coming up on Friday, I don't know if the studying was effective since I can't remember anything I studied right now. I have not caught up with the reading since I am being overwhelmed with my jobs, all the studying and the other stuff going on, but I will try to catch up… at least I hope.

I have an appointment with the eye doctor tomorrow to check on the recovery of my eyes, I don’t think I am going to make it since I have to be at work. I have my rent to pay so I can’t just miss work for an eye appointment. My eyes feel a lot better though although I still see foggy and they still look a little red.

I been talking to a one of my classmates for quite sometime now, she seems cool. I’ve been studying with her and spending time with her, I am contemplating whether I should pursue something with her or not. It’s been a while since I been in this situation but I just don’t feel anything (maybe a little not sure). I guess I can try just to see if I can, kind of like target practice, but that wouldn’t be right since someone is bound to get their feelings hurt. I can honestly say that it isn’t going to be me since I’m far to familiar with this.

As always I play it smooth and casual, make her laugh and smile, dig through her brain to find out what she is about and give her some honest feedback. Keep her talking so she can get comfortable. I get involved in intellectual conversations to flex my brain muscles to tip the scales a little but as always I keep it to a minimum since arrogance isn’t a good quality. Yes, I think of everything, there isn’t anything that has happened that I’ve overlooked. Maybe I’m paranoid or something, I don’t know, nevertheless I’m playing it by ear.

I’m doing laundry right now, I really hate some of the people’s social habits around here. I don’t like to be races but for some reason they are always of the same race. I was sitting on a table reading my book right in front of the change machine, one of the guys wanted to use it so he went right through me without saying anything I got out the way since I didn’t want to get in the way. All he had to say was excuse me. I say it, I say thank you when I need to, excuse me etc… I can go on about this for ever since this is just one instance. Well I better check on my clothes.

Ahhh Camping Out

AAAhhh Late night at the school’s computer lab I’m the only one here, I wouldn’t have it any other way. (being sarcastic)

I guess you can call this a blogging brake whatever it’s called I’m finishing my paper well actually I have about 2.25 pages, I’m almost there. Honestly I’m actually enjoying writing this paper, it is very appealing how law is based on the interpretation of given terms by society. I’m using Black’s Law Dictionary to define some of the terms that are in question here. I’m also using case reference books to get a better understating on the legality of the terms I just hope I’m doing this “Legal Reasoning” right. I spoke to the professor early in the quarter to explain to him my intellectual background so maybe he can be a little bit more lenient on my grading; I think I better remind him tomorrow before he grades my paper.

Ok, no more breaks need to finish this by 1AM so I can get a decent night sleep.